Healthy Relationship - Healthy Love. 5 Tips to Help Make it Happen
Guys, if you think that this blog post is only for women, you are very much mistaken. It takes two to tango, right? Or, in other words, to maintain the relationship you need both partners to be in sync with each other. So feel free to hang out with us as we briefly--I promise--briefly talk about healthy relationships.
You might ask why? Why bring this topic up? Aren’t relationships supposed to be a more personal thing?
Well, I have a question for you, too. Why not? Do you prefer being happy with your partner or just miserable? Believe me, it doesn’t matter how strong your feelings are, you can be head over heels for someone, but there will still be something that is not working.
So, before we jump into why we need healthy relationships and how to maintain them, let’s quickly talk about two words: love and infatuation. Two great feelings that we sometimes have difficulties distinguishing one from another.
Infatuation comes first. You probably already know the feeling. It is that feeling you experience when you first meet someone you like, and it lasts for some time until you get to know each other better. All those “goose bumps”and “butterflies in your stomach”.... You can’t stop thinking about that person, no matter how hard you try! You probably feel like you just won the lottery (To be fair, I have never won the lottery,but those who win it behave the same and have identical facial expressions to those who feel the early stages of affection for someone). Anyways, there is nothing wrong about being infatuated; on the contrary, it is amazing to experience this feeling. But infatuation is not love, though it can develop into a mature love later on in the relationship. It takes some time for love to develop, and it is a deeper sense of caring for one another. When you are infatuated, you only see your partner as being perfect, but when you are in love, you see all the imperfections, but nonetheless still feel deeply attracted and committed to that special person. What I am trying to say here is when infatuation disappears and begins developing into love, the work is not done. It is just the beginning. I would say falling in love is an exciting journey that requires both to be on the same page in order for the mutual feelings to be transformed into a relationship – a healthy relationship.
Why do we need healthy relationships?
Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. And it is the quality of our relationship that matters most. Being in a toxic and conflict-ridden relationship, even with a person you love, is more damaging than being alone. So healthy relationships are integral to our overall well being.
Healthy relationships can:
Reduce our risk of depression. A University of Michigan study found that the quality of relationships can influence the likelihood of depression in the future.
Give us confidence and increase our self-esteem. Having a loving and supportive partner does impact how you evaluate your own self-worth. Here is a study by the University of Bern that proves this very point.
Positively affect our cardiovascular health.
Makes us happier. A Harvard psychiatrist led a 75-year study into happiness and came to the conclusion that good relationships make us happier.
It is clear now why healthy relationships matter, but what about building them?
I will share with you 5 tips that I believe you should try:
Tip 1. Talk to each other
To build or maintain a healthy relationship, you should both talk and listen to each other. Misunderstandings can happen; it’s something that all couples go through. Instead of walking around upset and frustrated - talk. Be clear about what you want to say and how you feel as well as make some effort to understand your partner’s point of view. Make sure to be honest and respectful at all times. Remember, giving and receiving consent is essential in any relationship. Don’t pressure your partner into doing something he/she doesn’t want to do, and, at the same time, don’t feel pressured by your partner to do something that you’re not comfortable with.
Tip 2. Compromise
It is natural to have disagreements. Beliefs, values, and personal experiences allplay a vital role here. So when there is a disagreement, remember to be respectful and try to find a compromise to this disagreement, so it does not turn into a conflict.
Tip 3. Be supportive
Encourage your partner and let him/her know when you need them as well. Healthy relationships are not about putting your partner down and humiliating them for his/her failures. It is about providing a shoulder in tough times, encouragement, and support when needed. Instead of saying “I told you this was gonna happen” or “I knew it wouldn’t work out,” try to cheer your partner up and help with analyzing the situation. If possible, come up with a solution or plan B.
Tip 4. Give one another some space
The fact that you are a couple doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time together or that you have to abandon all your friends and interests outside of your relationship. Do what you like, meet with your friends, start a project you are passionate about, just live a normal life. Your relationship is only one small part of your identity as a person!
Tip 4. Be lighthearted
Life is not a piece of cake, even if you are in a loving relationship. There can be challenges and stressful situations that a couple has to go through, so do not forget to have some fun together. Share lighter moments to release tension and bring positive vibes even in tough times to strengthen your relationship.
Tip 5. Be curious and care
Genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts, goals, and daily life is a key characteristic of healthy, long-term love. You want to watch them grow and advance, right? If you are in a relationship with this person, you should not be obsessed with who they used to be or who you think and want them to be.
That’s it. I hope this is helpful and if you have other tips, please feel free to share in the comments below.
And remember, it takes two to tango!
ABOUT AUTHOR
Olha Harbovska is America House Communications Manager. She is Future Leaders Exchange program alumna and received MA in Translation Studies and Contrastive Linguistics from Ivan Franko National University in Lviv.