How to Develop Your EQ?
In a previous article, you read that “EQ, or emotional intelligence, is all about social communication, emotions, and empathy and how well you can control them and that of others”. EQ, different from IQ, is a very important aspect of many people’s lives, whether they realize it or not. Having a higher EQ can lead to more career success, help us become more emotionally stable, and can help to learn how to deal with negative emotions.
Here is a test to see where your emotional intelligence stands currently: EQ Test
No matter your results, it is always possible to increase your EQ!
Here are 7 ways to improve your EQ (with a little repeated practice, you will be well on your way to having a higher EQ!)
Practice ways to have a more positive attitude
A negative attitude can make one feel down, angry, and upset. This, in turn, can lower EQ. EQ’s main goal is to make you more receptive to these negative attitudes and change them into positive ones. Instead of seeing things as a “glass half empty”, try viewing everyday small nuances as a “glass half full”. Some ways to get started on this is to have a full and healthy breakfast, practice meditation, or keep positive quotes around your computer at work!
Take criticism well
One of the hardest things is to receive criticism from others. Whether that criticism is on our work performance, something we created or wrote, or something about our personality, criticism can be hurtful and lower our self-esteem. However, the best way to take criticism from others is through a positive attitude. View these critiques as ways to improve yourself and keep achieving your best. Taking criticism well can help us better our work performance, improve our skills, and ultimately help increase EQ. In fact, Margaret Andrews, associate dean at Harvard University’s Division of Continuing Education, said criticism, “may not always be what you want to hear, but it will often be what you need to hear”.
Recognize your emotions and name them
Often in times of anger, sadness, or happiness, we are unable to name our emotions directly. Taking a moment to stop and name our emotions in our head can help control our temperament and can help to calm us down and help us learn how to better deal with a variety of emotions we may experience. Ask yourself these questions: “What emotions are you feeling right now? Can you name them? When in a stressful situation, what emotions typically arise? How would you like to respond in these situations? Can you stop to pause and reconsider your response?”.
READ, READ, READ!
Yes! Reading can help to improve our EQ. Some studies have shown that reading complex literature books can help improve our empathy. Supposedly, reading books from other’s perspectives can help us gain important insights into how they think and function, an important aspect of emotional intelligence. Reading complex literature also helps us become more socially aware as we delve into the minds of other people. Here are some classic books to get started on: “Pride and Prejudice”, “Little Women”, “A Tale of Two Cities”, “Crime and Punishment”.
Question your own opinions
In today’s world, we can have very different ideas about anything ranging from politics to movies to scientific theories! Having opinions is definitely okay (and many times is an integral part to define ourselves as individuals), but it is also important to not get near-sighted by these opinions. To prevent us from finding ourselves in an “opinion-bubble”, take the time to have your opinions challenged. Watch debates, watch different news channels, and try to understand things from others perspectives. This will help you be able to better understand and connect with other people, another important aspect of EQ.
Manage stress well
Undoubtedly, we all get stressed sometimes. Stress can come from many different sources such as work, school, friends/social life, and family. This stress can, in turn, make us upset and counter-productive, lowering our EQ. Managing stress well can mitigate this effect. Here are some tips to manage stress well:
Get enough sleep every night
Drink water often
Exercise or go for quiet walks
Listen to music
Create your to-do list in a way that is helpful and organized
Don’t procrastinate
Meditate
Don’t give up and always be willing to bounce back
Many times, failure can de-motivate us and make us feel bad. Whenever we fail, it is important to ask yourself, ““What is the lesson here?” “How can I learn from this experience?” “What is most important now?” and “If I think outside the box, what are some better answers?”. Learn how to not let failure get in the way of you achieving your very best. In fact, Micheal Jordan, a famous basketball player has said, “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed”. The Wall Street Journal has stated, “Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a nervous breakdown before he became the president of the United States”. Failure is essentially, the pathway to success and a higher EQ!
Some of these things were general tips and others were physical practices. But no matter what method you choose to pursue, you can definitely improve your EQ!
After some practice, go back and take the EQ test at the beginning of this article again and see if you improved your score! Good luck!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Annik Brar is a student at the George Washington University in Washington, D.C. studying International Affairs and Psychology. In her free time, she manages a support page for people with Type 1 Diabetes. She also loves photography and traveling and can speak Punjabi and Hindi fluently!